Intelligence: Two IQ Bombs You Can Use

Being intelligent does not mean that you’re perfect, or that you don’t make mistakes. But it does mean that you have the ability to learn from your mistakes.

There is one big mistake that I’ve been making for a long time, and I’ve found a way to avoid this mistake in the future.

That mistake involves attempting to have intelligent conversations with people who are actually not capable of engaging in an intelligent conversation. After they’d not understand me, I’d get upset. That’s about as smart as trying to show photos to a blind person, and then getting upset about why they can’t see.

Yes, intelligent people can do stupid things.

With that, I’ve devised TWO different IQ Bombs that you can use early in a conversation to determine whether or not you should continue the conversation.

For ease of explanation, I will focus on the American Christian Republican.

One of the cornerstones of people who have lesser intelligence is that they do not have the capacity to understand nuance.

Nuance, as a noun, is defined as: A subtle difference in or shade of meaning, expression, or sound.

Everything to them is either black or white. It’s either good or evil. It’s either a 10 or a 1. There is no gray area.

As an example, whenever anyone mentions “reasonable gun laws,” they will instantly get upset and carry on about how people are “trying to take their guns away.” It’s not what is said, but that’s what they hear.

So if you suggest that maybe we should require some firearm safety training before a purchase, for example, they will instantly go in defense mode, and become incapable of having a conversation.

The undestanding of nuance is essential to making a good apples-to-apples analogy, so this could be considered a subset of nuance.

If you attempt to talk to a Christian Republican about the January 6 [2021] insurrection, they will immediately jump to a really bad analogy, by comparing that to an ANTIFA protest.

To them, those two events are precisely, exactly the same, because it’s people marching and there’s some violence. Then, of course, they follow that up with the very childish and stupid argument of, “Well, THEY did it, so WE can do it, too.”

Nope. Ted Bundy killed a bunch of women, so that would not make it okay for me to do that.

What are the differences between those two events?

With the ANTIFA marches, they were protesting the questionable potency of their civil rights. They’re also protesting against fascists. Protests are protected by The Constitution. Of course, they believe that protests are only good and valid when they do it. But I digress.

When ANTIFA marched, there were some violent incidents. Some may have been caused by “members,” while others may have been opportunities, and some could have been infiltrators from the Right. Regardless, the number of people engaging in violence and destructive behavior was not very big.

And no, they DID NOT “burn Portland to the ground.” It’s still there. I’ve been there. Any damage that happened was fixed quickly. It’s still there. It did not burn to the ground.

So, now that we’ve established the essence of the ANTIFA civil rights protests, what about the 1/6 gathering? After all, Christian Republicans will also tell you that these are both cases of large groups of people gathering, so they are the same.

The are not.

With the 1/6 crowd, this was a case of a planned armed insurrection to interrupt the counting of electors, which is a Constitutionally protected activity. They brought weapons. They had plans. They knew where they were going. They stormed the Federal building, with plans of violence from the beginning, as is proven in the 1/6 hearings.

This was done in an effort to overthrow the United States government, so they could install ex-government employee Donald as dictator.

They set out to cause harm, as they indicated they wanted to “kill” AOC and Nancy Pelosi.

They wanted to “hang Mike Pence.”

There is a BIG difference between a protest where some people engage in violence or destruction, with the majority being peaceful, AND an armed insurrection attempting to overthrow the United States government.

Big, big difference, and yet they cannot see it because they lack the intelligence to understand it. So when they make a false equivalency like this, it is mad on my part to get angry because they don’t understand.

The hard truth is they cannot understand. They are lacking in the intelligence that is necessary to understand.

While I am not suggesting that all Christian Republicans are lacking in the intelligence required to engage in civil, productive conversation, there are enough of them to make it a highly concerning issue.

Like many other things, stupidity and intelligence both live on a spectrum. It’s not a hard Einstein vs. a hard mouth breather. But there are enough of the stupid to make it an issue.

How stupid are they?

When ex-government employee Donald was running for 2016, he said something to his live audience while he was in Nevada in late February 2016.

“I love the poorly educated.”

In this situation, ex-government employee Donald was calling his supporters stupid, TO THEIR FACES. What did they do in response.

They did what any stupid person would do. They CHEERED right after he said it. They voted for him. Some tried to overthrow the United States government for him.

And many have sent him over one quarter of one billion dollars for a PAC that does not exist! They are sending him money even though he told them that he would NEVER be asking them for money because, as he put it, “I’m really rich.”

I hate recognizing a problem with no clear solution in sight. Early in this post, I compared by attempts to engage in intelligent conversation with them to be like trying to show pictures to a blind person, and then getting angry because they cannot see the pictures.

That leaves the question wide open: How do we show these pictures to the blind?

Maybe new terminology would help. For example, they’re afraid of words that they do not understand, and one of those words is “Communism.” Christian Republican leadership will throw that word out to get their base upset, angry, and afraid. This includes talking about something that has NOTHING to do with Communism.

If you wanted to talk about Communism with them [it’s not a topic I care about], there would be a problem in that bringing up the word would instantly shut them down and put them on the defensive attack.

One work-around would be to talk with them about the features and benefits of “Super Capitalism.” That’s a completely made-up phrase, but they would not know that.

Regardless of the topic, avoiding the precise terminology might allow some discussion.

But for me, as an Autistic adult, it might be better to bail out once they fail these IQ bomb tests, at least for now. So when I engage someone in conversation, I can easily test them. If they show signs of being incapable of understanding nuance or equitable comparisons, then it’s time for me to bail out.

Maybe down the road, someone might figure out an effective way to have a conversation with them about topics without scaring them into their natural reactionary state. So long as it helps people communicate, I am all for it.

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The Meritocracy is a Tool of Discrimination and Oppression

It was in the mid-1970s, and I was about 11-12 years old when I got a paper route. It was my first job where I report to someone else AND deal with customers. The scope of personal contact far exceeds a situation where I’d be mowing a lawn.

The job involved delivering The Indianapolis Star seven days per week. On Sunday, the paper was delivered in two sections, with one section being all about advertisements and coupons. I would have to get up extra-early and put those together before delivering them.

My typical time getting up would be 4:00am.

My father would drive me around town at 4:30am in his 1942 Willy’s Jeep from World War II.

I was enthusiastic and worked really hard. But it wouldn’t be long before my enthusiasm was killed by horrific adults.

Keep in mind that this is in the Midwest, which is a VERY Christian region of the country. I am relatively dark skinned, as a German, so we are hated by the whites if we’re too dark. I was a known non-believer, so they had that against me. And while I did not know that I was Autistic back then, I was Autistic and received the abuse that all Autistic people receive from unfeeling Christian Neurotypicals.

Circa 1976, the year I was delivering papers. I am convinced that I was not white enough for their liking. I definitely was not Christian enough.

This story comes in three parts. Now that you have the set-up, let’s get to it.

These are people who would lie and say that they DID NOT receive the Sunday paper. Some would even call the paper to complain that I was lazy or stupid. I’d get asked about it by my rep.

My father would dress in his police uniform and deliver the paper himself. He would let them know that HE was driving me around on my route and HE was making sure I delivered ALL papers, and then encourage them to STOP calling the paper to complain about my work.

I was working hard, but no matter how hard I worked, many customers felt compelled to LIE about me. Yes, lying is “bearing false witness,” and bearing false witness is in their god’s Top Ten list [Ten Commandments]. But when it comes to “THE OTHERS” [non-white, non-Christian, non-straight, non-American, or anyone who isn’t 100% like them], they are ALWAYS willing to lie, and lie, and lie, and lie.

The way the job worked is I deliver papers. Peopel are supposed to leave payment outside their door. If not, then I can go see them and collect later. As unnerving as it was, I would knock on doors and talk to grown adults abouthow they need to pay their bill.

They viewed me as a child who could be easily ripped off, and they were correct.

NOBODY wanted to pay their bill.

The problem is that I would have to pay for the newspapers up-front. It’s like I was buying the paper from the Star, then selling it at a profit. In order to keep the papers delivered, I would mow lawns. I would walk along the highway and collect glass bottles to turn in for cash. I would even sell some of my possessions or chip in with lunch money. Yes, I would SKIP LUNCH to make sure deadbeat Christians could get their papers and coupons.

The last straw for me was a guy who decided to FINALLY pay his paper bill. He wrote me a check for $57, which represents a LONG TIME of not paying for the paper. The problem came later in the day, when he was hit and killed by a garbage truck.

By the time the bank opened on Monday, a freeze had been placed on his account. The teller talked like I was trying to commit some kind of scam on a dead man’s account.

To be clear, this was and is a VERY small town of 1,200 people, so EVERYONE knew that I was delivering the paper.

It got to the point that I could not keep up with what the papers cost for the entire town. So I quit.

About one month after I quit, I went to Huffman’s Pizza. There was a bowling alley attached and he had a pinball machine and jukebox. I went by myself to play a few games of pinball, nothing big.

There were TWO adult men there, eating dinner. I don’t want to say who they were, as I still fear retaliation by their families if they ever found out.

As it turns out, they had a few words for me.

“Well, if it isn’t the lazy paper boy. Or should I say, the FORMER lazy paperboy, who was too lazy to do his job.”

I told him that I delivered ALL papers ALL the time, and that my police officer father personally drove me to deliver these papers.

I then added that grown adults were not paying their paper bill, and I got tired of mowing lawns to ensure that their papers would keep getting delivered uninterrupted.

This is when The Meritocracy was thrown at me.

“Well, if you were actually GOOD at delivering newspapers, then people would have paid their bill.”

This move is sometimes done as a way of gaslighting the receiver. But I couldn’t be gaslit on this, as my father drove me and confirmed that I had done a good job.

Since that day, The Meritocracy has been used against me as a form of discrimination that is intended to suggest that I am failing because I am lazy, I am stupid, and I am not deserving.

And they suggest this could be the case because I’m not a Christian, or I’m not white enough, or I’m weird [Autistic].

It’s an excuse.

It’s basically the idea that if you are smart enough and work hard enough, that it will pay off and you will “make it” financially in America.

This video gives a decent explanation.

The upper class hoardes wealth. The middle class hoardes opportunity.

Basically, it’s condescending bullshit that is used as an excuse to write off another person’s bad situation.

So after I worked hard and gave my all, I had nothing resembling wealth. I never owned a home. Never owned a new car. Didn’t buy my first piece of new furniture until 2009, shortly after my 44th birthday.

All that I have to show for my hard work is people telling me that I’m a failure and a loser, AND I have Type 2 Diabetes from sitting in an office chair 12+ hours per day, 6-7 days per week, working feverishly to make other people wealthy.

It’s another mind game played by feckless hairless apes. I’m sure this may end up being misunderstood, just as my previous entry about Domino’s Pizza. But something tells me that they ARE NOT misunderstanding, and instead are propagandizing the way they are taught, just like they are taught to hate others who are not exactly, precisely like them.

And that’s the case for anyone who isn’t white, or straight, or Christian, or upper class, or neurotypical. After we work hard, we are paid almost nothing, and we are told that we are lazy, stupid, and need to work harder.

When we work harder and nothing comes of it, they say, “You have to work SMARTER, not harder!” And after working smarter doesn’t pay off, they declare that you’re not working hard enough.

You didn’t go to the right college.

You didn’t get the right kind of degree.

You… just don’t fit in.

In other words, people in various classes will work very hard as gatekeepers to keep out those whom they feel are “not deserving” of a better life.

This is where things like fitting or having friends can pay off. I’ve seen that pay off for others a lot, while actual merit does not. Since I’m an Autistic adult, I don’t fit in with anyone anywhere, by definition.

I am the social outcast, and I must remain the social outcast, as commanded and monitored by those who view themselves as better than me or more important than me.

That’s what it’s all about in America: Better better than someone else, and feeling good about yourself because you’re better than someone else.

I don’t get it, and do not engage in that negative, destructive, inhumane, mindless, gormless behavior.

Believing yourself to be better than others because of your education, finances, etc., is a fool’s errand. It’s meaningless. It makes no sense.

If you need to feel that you’re better than others, then you’re actually weaker than you are willing to acknowledge. If you have to stand upon a pile of corpses to feel that you’re great at your job, then you SUCK at your job, because you’re not doing your job, and instead are engaging in social work politics.

You’re self-delusional.

Whatever I decide to do, I strive to be as good as possible. I don’t feel the need to be better or smarter than another blogger. It makes no sense. But what DOES make sense is that I feel good about my efforts when I put them in, and the results of those efforts are seen in the work.

What I DO NOT feel good about is that my efforts and the results often times are not matched with pay.

I had gotten a call from a temp agency that had a job for me. It was a one week assignment, where they wanted me to create a spreadsheet and enter their data into the spreadsheet. They estimated that it would take a person one week to do this job.

I complained to someone that this is is the type of work that I usually get. They told me that this was my chance to test The Meritocracy. They reminded me that I can type 120-130 words per minute, have incredible spelling and grammar capabilities, and I know my way around a computer.

“If you get that job done as fast as possible, they will notice your strengths and talents! They’ll want to hire you on! You should go for it.”

And so I did. Instead of taking me 7 days to create and populate the spreadsheet, I did it in just over 6 hours. I proofread my work and rushed it over to the agency, who sent it to the company.

Did they recognize my hard work?

Did they recognize my talent?

Did they want to reward that with anything?

Did it pay off?

I’d ask you to place your bets, but everyone knows where this is going.

The company, as it turns out, said “thank you” for getting it done so fast. Then they paid me for the six hours, and moved on.

The thing is, if you have anay useful talents, then you’ll be exploited until they’re tired of you, before they move on to the next SUCKER.

So when job search people tell me that I have lots of talents, ability, and intelligence, I can only laugh.

Yeah, yeah, intelligence, talent, and ability. But I do not have what it takes to earn a living.

I need something outside of that realm of intelligence, talent, and ability. Because these things HAVE NEVER PAID OFF FOR ME, AT ANY TIME, EVER.

The sad thing about it is that I am not the only one.

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Clarification of my Domino’s Post

I am writing this short because I can hear the mindless criticism of yesterday’s post, because there are some people out there who are so thick that they would almost instantly miss the entire point of the post.

What would their criticism sound like?

“Oh, you poor thing! You have to tell someone your address to get pizza? What a big baby? What a loser! Sounds like a big First World problem, you big baby.”

Well, for anyone who actually thinks this, congrats on missing the point. I’ll spell it out.

For those whose position is that I’m being a big baby about this situation, congrats on not understanding the various features of disability that come with Autism.

One of the big features of Autism is being almost perpetually misunderstood. And there you are, as Exhibit A.

Every person is different, so I can only speak for myself. That said, a large number of Autistic adults suffer from major anxiety issues related to the phone.

So giving people information over the phone verbally hardly ever works out. For example, every time I move I have to set up new services, just like everyone. And, just like everyone else, I have to call and give them information, such as the address and my name.

Without exception, EVERY SINGLE COMPANY has gotten my last name wrong, and it stays wrong until I can either write to them OR go into a store and put my ID on the counter.

Recently, I called my cable internet provider about an equipment upgrade they sent to me. I let them know that my last name was wrong on the account. I spent TEN MINUTES working with her to spell my name properly, as she was mishearing EVERY SINGLE LETTER.

I just went and checked. They spelled it wrong again, in a completely new way.

Anyone who believes that I’m being a whiny spoiled brat is showing all of us that they have NO understanding of Autism AND no care or concern for ANYONE who is different from them.

Ironically, THEY are being big babies about the challenges that others face. Get some empathy. Grow up.

The drivers are not being supported properly or paid enough. Their plan is to cut driver jobs, and replace some of them with call centers, while promoting the idea of picking up the pizza for yourself.

From February 1, 2022

I don’t mind price increases. What DOES bother me is the workers getting fucked over as a thank-you for their hard work and dedication.

But after the call center people get rid of the of a good portion of the drivers, they will replace those call center people with call centers in other countries. This is because America workers are too expensive.

I shouldn’t have to explain that the disparity between what a person is paid and what a person is worth is called profit. The more you pay an employee, the more it cuts into profits.

American Capitalism CANNOT funciton as expected, so long as workers expect to actually be paid..

Because American businesses are NO LONGER interested in serving a community. They care about increasing profits. And it’s no longer good enough that they are super-ultra-mega-fucking rich. They want to be even MORE rich, and they don’t care who suffers or dies for them to get there.

Click to view a YouTube Clip: “And with both parties in our pockets, we can sacrifice our workesr to become gods among men.”

A small mind will read what I wrote and walk away with a negative opinion about someone they’ve inappropriately judged, because they cannot comprehend a bigger picture.

But those who are intelligent, meaning they’re also capable of thinking, recognizing and processing nuance, and understanding, will get the big picture.

Yes, I am writing about my experience. And also yes, I am writing about how it applies to the big picture.

Oh, and on a side note, if you go to the YouTube profile for Domino’s Pizza, they have ALL of the comments turned off EVERYWHERE. This means they don’t care what their customers think. They don’t want to hear it, and cannot be bothered.

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Farewell, Domino’s Pizza

Given the fact that I’ve lost over 30 pounds this year, I still have a scant few bad things on my menu. One of those things is Domino’s Pizza. I usually order a thin crust on the days where we decide to not cook.

I initially started ordering online, until I called one time and was informed that calling in is the better way to order, because they can throw on discounts.

It’s far from being the best pizza that one can eat. There are other reasons to order, including convenience and the fact that they are local.

The problem is that the convenience is being taken away.

In the past, the steps to ordering a pizza were relatively easy. I call the local store, and they answer. They ask if it’s for delivery or pick-up.

Then I tell them, “I’d like to get the same thing as last time.” They confirm that they have it. Then they confirm my address by saying it back to me. They ask if cash or card, and I read my card number to them and include the tip.

Pretty simple.

Well, Domino’s felt that maybe it was TOO simple, because they just turned it into an Autistic adult’s nightmare.

Usually, I expect to hear their automated answering service, where I get to hear about some new things for ten seconds, before being patched into my local store.

But THIS time, I heard, “If you are calling to order a pizza for delivery, please press 1.”

Okay. I press 1.

I get a woman on the line, and she asks me for my phone number. I thought this was odd, as they NEVER ask me for my phone number, because they already have it.

So I tell her my phone number. I have to say it THREE times because she can’t hear me, supposedly.


Then, she asks for my name. What a nightmare! My last name has 13 letters. When I spell it to people, they will start spelling it back to me half-way through, AND they will get it completely and utterly wrong.

We spend THREE minutes on my name.

HER: And how do I spell your last name?

ME: It’s S-N-E-L

HER [interrupting]: Okay, I got F-M-A-O


Then she asks for an address. Also odd, because they usually have my address right in front of me. I start struggling to give her the address, and she keeps getting things wrong.

I soldier through this unfriendly process.

Then she asks, “What would you like to order?”

I reply, “The same thing as last time.”

She says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t have that information here.”

So I ask if I can be patched through to the store, and she fights me at first, but eventually I get sent over there. Once transferred, I have the usual, decent, positive experience.

I told the guy on the phone about my experience with the call center and asked him if they were changing things. He said, “Yeah, they don’t want to pay all of us and want to get rid of some of us, so they’re doing that call center thing.”

I replied to him, “If I can’t do business by talking with YOU or your co-workers, then I won’t be doing business with the company anymore. I stand with YOU guys!”

When it comes to pizza delivery, one big problem is gas prices. Who can afford to have this job, when you aren’t paid enough to cover the gas you have to buy?

Some brainiac once asked me, “Why dont you JUST get a job delivering pizzas?” Sadly, this question came from someone who supposedly understands Autism and why it is a disability.

Well, there are many reasons. I am not all that good at knocking on a random stranger’s door. I struggle to deal with people on the phone as it is, so putting us in-person would be disaster.

But an even bigger issue is the fact that I’d not be able to afford to have that job. I’d be working two side-jobs to keep my pizza delivery job. This is but one example of how Capitalism is failing, but I digress.

As a customer, I am charged a $5 delivery fee, AND I am asked to leave a tip. So delivery and tip can equal 50% of the cost of the pizza.

Everybody else is getting screwed so the Capitalist can get rich. And I see their “solution” to the problem. I have a better one.

Domino’s Pizza may have already lost me as a customer due to this issue. As an Autistic adult, I can’t be in a position where I have to spell my outrageously long name AND my address, both of which they get wrong multiple times before we’re eventually on-track.

I don’t have 30 minutes for ORDERING the pizza.

Based on what I know and what I’ve read, it seems that the shortage of delivery drivers are an issue for them. Plus, they are doing things to discourage online ordering. With my order, online it’s $36, and on the phone it’s $25, both with $3 tip.

Delivery is the ONLY thing that gives Domino’s the edge over Papa Murphy’s. The thing with Papa Murphy’s is that you have to pick it up AND then bake it yourself. I’m really leaning more toward this, especially considering that the pizza would be fresh and better quality.

Yea, I think I’m moving over to Papa Murphy’s, moving forward.

This does not mean that I won’t offer some helpful advice to Domino’s.

Dear Domino’s Pizza,

I understand that our economy is NOT friendly to anyone anymore. Gas prices are destroying us, just like they’re destroying Capitalism itself.

The ONLY reason why I order your otherwise shitty pizza is because of delivery. Delivery is easy because of your drivers. The people at the store know my name, know my number, my address, and what I ordered last time. It’s by far easier to talk with them than the call centers for me, as an Autistic adult.

So when your business decisions involve getting rid of the ONLY PEOPLE who inspire me to call your business in the first place, you’re losing me as a customer.

But why cut THEM, when they are paid almost nothing? That’s not much in the way of savings. And I know that you’ll be outsourcing these call center jobs to other Third World countries in the near future.

There is a place to cut back that you’re conveniently ignoring, and it would make a great difference in the prices and profits.

My assumption is that you have Regional Managers, and that you have many, many regions. Why have so many individual regions?

Combine the two closest regions into one and cut Regional Managers by 50%. When you double their work, make sure to cut their pay by at least 15%.

I feel that I can also safely assume that you have lots of executives who are paid very fat salaries, bonuses, and more. Why do you need all of them?

Cut the executive ranks by at least 60%. As for the remainder, fire them and outsource THEIR jobs to another Third World country. Of course, you can cut the pay to those jobs significantly before you send them overseas.

You have way too many fat cats on the payroll, and this is slowing you down.

So, how about you keep the people who do the actual work and fire the overpaid dead weight?



The economy is fucked. The world is fucked. We little people are getting dry-fucked, and it seems that our cries for lube are being ignored. And, for me, Domino’s has decided to make their business unfriendly to Autistic adults.

The connection between Domino’s Pizza and Stranger Things is inescapable.

So this is where I declare that I will no longer be supporting Domino’s Pizza. Sadly, I was also going to start watching Stranger Things on Netflix, but may skip it because I cannot divorce them from Domino’s Pizza in my head.

I assume that workers are being screwed. Capitalism cannot function as expected if the people doing all of the work are being paid a dignified adult living wage. Someone has to get fucked over in order for Capitalism to work. As the person who typically gets fucked over, I cannot abide.

As it stands now, the workers are getting paid slave wages that cannot support life, and management is still complaining from their golden palaces.

There is no good way to end this, so I am going to end with two observations about Capitalism and the economy that do not require you to have a degree in business or mathematics.

Firstly, if people are not paid a living wage, then not only can they NOT afford to work for you, but they also cannot participate in Capitalism or the economy. Those who have money to spend are the job creators, and NOT people in suits.

Lastly, if you cannot afford to pay the people who work for you a dignified adult living wage, then you cannot afford to be in business.

Goodbye, Domino’s Pizza. It was sub-par, just below average, and you couldn’t even live up to the basics. And I am NOT going to invest extra time, effort, and expense so that you can fuck over your delivery drivers so the executives can have more money in their pockets.

To the Domino’s Executives, I have one thing to say to you that you always say to your employees and customers in a roundabout way. But I will be direct and unmistakable in my message.

Go fuck yourselves.

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How to Become a Loner

How does one become a loner? Are they born or made? Is it just a case of “stupid kid shit” that they’ll grow out of eventually?

Through some highly honest self-reflection, I am going to attempt to answer some questions about this.

The loner is a complex individual who is a combination of nature and nurture. In other words, they have personality attributes or birth defects that contribute to a social reaction that drives everything further underground.

In my case, I always knew there was something wrong with me, and did not find out that I am Autistic until I was 53 years old. By then, it’s a little bit too late to try to have a healthy childhood.

Another element is Major Depressive Disorder, or “Clinical Depression.” This causes a person to withdraw. At least, that’s half of what it does.

The other half involves peers, or the social element. When they witness your withdrawal via depression, they will hammer home the idea that you should dig yourself deeper into isolation, for the good of the pack.

Socially speaking, being Autistic means saying the wrong things at the wrong time, or not understanding the subtext that is unspoken “between the lines,” or blurting out something that seems funny but might actually be socially inappropriate.

With the internal and external elements defined above, we can look at life events that drive isolation.

I had written before about my kindergarten teacher mocking me on Valentine’s Day because nobody put a card in my box. Everyone laughed. This was the same teacher who ignored my pleas to go to the bathroom, forcing me to urinate on myself in class in front of everyone.

I think the above is enough to create a serial killer, but I digress. It goes on.

In a more generic sense, a more common occurrence is being the last to be picked at team sports, or not getting picked at all. In my experience, it was always me and another “undesirable” kid. They’d pick him over me, and I’d be left on the sidelines.

Another element comes from Autism, and that the sensation of being picked out, or experiencing a special set of rules and enforcement that is different from what everyone else experiences. As I described the experience, “It feels like there are two sets of rules at play. One set for everyone else, and a special set just for me.”

An example of this is the concept of making mistakes. When other people at work make mistakes, they can laugh it off and they get the luxury of writing it off as a learning experience or teachable moment.

But when I make a mistake, it’s a Federal offense! I will get approached by management and get to hear that phrase of death that gives everyone who hears it chills.

“We need to chat. Got a minute?”

This is where I will get grilled by management about my mistake, get informed of my incompetence, and told that I’ll have plenty of time to think about my mistake while I’m standing in the unemployment line.

But be it work, school, or any other social setting, the tension, terror, and apprehension that I feel is second to none in anxiety fuel.

Jeremy spoke in class today.

Either you die young enough that it can be said you lived a good life, or you live long enough to realize just how fucked up your life actually was.

Engaging in lock-down during the COVID-19 pandemic was easy for me, as I had started isolating FOUR years before the lock-down. I was a seasoned pro, so it was a cakewalk for me. I got to watch everyone else get upset about it, while it was just another day for me.

Then I’d watch as people lost their social skills, and I’d get to see them struggle to be like me. Sometimes a violent Karen comes out of it. That’s how you know someone isn’t good at coping.

But as I type this, I think about how my therapist and others have told me that I “need to get out there” and meet people, or find a group, or something of the sort.

The thing is, I’ve lived for my entire life without a group, so I don’t really see the need for it, and I do not have the desire for it. Too much primate drama, social rules, hierarchy, and silly game-playing for me. I don’t know how to do those things.

Those behaviors have been labeled as “very unimportant” by me. That’s how you end up not fitting in.

While I rarely leave the apartment, the internet does give me some sensation of being social at times. And if it ever gets to be too much, I can log off, or block someone, or delete my profile. It wouldn’t be the first time.

I consider myself fortunate that I didn’t turn out to be something horrible, like a serial killer. My life has all of the elements required to make that happen. The only thing blocking all of that is who I am on the inside. While others destroyed me socially, I did not allow them inside to rip me apart.

But whenever you see that serial killer, school shooter, or other socially broken person, it’s always the “normies” who are the first to cry and complain that their good life, their normal neighborhood, their mindless routines have been ruined or otherwise roughed up.

And they scream that they want answers.

I’ll give them answers. They won’t like it.

When your children mocked that child who was alone, when your church memebers decided to tell him that he was a demon and “less-than-human,” when everyone went out of their way to cause harm, YOU CONTRIBUTED TO THE CREATION OF THAT PERSON, AND THE CREATION OF THAT PROBLEM.

They’ll attribute it to satan, or something that has nothing to do with it, which is why the problem gets worse. They are AFRAID to LOOK IN THE MIRROR at themselves and realize that THEY ARE THE MONSTER CREATORS. THEY are the ones who pointed, laughed, and prodded until that person snapped and did something they’d not live to regret.

Their children created him and the situation with their social hierarchies and mockery.

Their churches created him and the situation by singling him out and socially punishing him, instead of welcoming him into the fold and teaching.

Their law enforcement created him and the situation by harassing him when his only crime was not fitting in.

Their school politicies created him and the situation when they failed to stop the bullies from attacking him, forcing him to start fending for himself and getting comfortable with violence.

The people who cry when something bad happens should be upset with themselves for creating the problem, but they aren’t smart enough to acknwoledge that.

I was working at MySpace one day, when I saw a co-worker in mental distress. He was trying to get something done, but this programmer was fucking with him royally. He’s that asshole jock who laughs at his fellow classmates who are poor or disadvantaged. He’s that guy who sees someone having a weak moment, and then decides to poke at that weakness with a hot stick until something pops.

I told the harasser to fuck off, and took the victim to the parking garage with me so he could vent. He yelled and screamed about how nobody was listening to him, how nobody cared, and how he wanted to make them pay for what they were doing to him.

He told me that he wanted to shoot up the office.

I talked him down from that.

Many lives were saved that day, and it was just because I saw someone being bullied, stepped in, said something, and showed the victim that I cared by listening to them.

If a person like me, who is severely socially crippled with almost NO skills at all, can step in and turn around a negative situation, then nobody else has an excuse.

Step it up, normies. Acknowledge your part in the creation of the socially isolated, as well as the socially criminal, and then work on changing your behaviors so that you can become a better person.

And becoming a better person doesn’t mean just believing in a god and calling it a day. It takes work and self-awareness. You can do it. I do it, and I don’t even have the skills.

Having a serious moment of reflection at my desk. When people hurt others, I don’t take it lightly.

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Big Trouble on the Horizon

This entry will be brief, as I wish to get right to the point. In America, we’ve had some freedoms taken away by Right-wing Christian Theocrats, including those who LIED UNDER OATH in order to gain their positions on the Supreme Court.

The lives of women are at risk. With women’s rights going out the door, they plan on going after ALL birth control, gay marriage, and interracial marriage.

These “Christians” want to turn America into a “Christian Nation,” a Theocracy where white heterosexual Christian men live above the law, while everyone else must adhere to the law.

As for the Atheists, non-Christians, or even the WRONG type of Christians, they will need to be removed from civil society to protect the “good Christians.” This involves putting the “others” into prison work camps.

These Christians claim that they want a moral society.

What constitutes a “moral society” includes the likes of Naasón Joaquín García, a megachurch pastor, who was convicted of sexually assaulting three minors. He got only 16 years in prison. In a Christian Theocracy, he wouldn’t even see the inside of a court room.

One of his underaged victims talked about how she was raped by him. Adding insult to injury, when the news came out, her parents FORCED HER TO GO TO CHURCH TO PRAY FOR HER RAPIST.

There is NOTHING moral about that.

What’s going on right now in America is disgusting, and utter filth. But don’t take my word for it. Listen to the testimony of one of his victims, where she talks through her tears about the entire situation, inclucing the psychotic things her Christian parents made her do because they are Christians.

Listen to her story through her tears and then try telling me that I’m wrong about this.

When someone tells me they’re a Christian, Atheist, or anything else, I always remember that what a person believes or does not believe tells me NOTHING about a person’s character or morality.


This is why I vote Blue, instead of staying home and being mad that I’m not represented.

Kitty Cat Family Profiles

For some people, a cat is just a cat. It’s something they “have,” much in the same way that they have a car, or have children. That is, it’s a being or entity in their presence that is NOT necessarily an intimate part of their lives. It’s like the dog chained to a dog house in the back corner of the yard, who gets some food and water dumped into bowls every morning, before it is summarily abandoned and forgotten.

A cat in this situation typically lives outdoors. They end up killing lots of smaller animals that they don’t necessarily need for sustenance. They get injured or killed in the wild outdoors. And when they die or otherwise cannot be found, they’ll talk about “getting another cat.”

It’s highly impersonal and not very caring. As a result, these cats are viewed as not caring about the family that “owns” them. Of course they don’t care, because why should they care about people who don’t care about them?

But for people like me, a cat is a being who becomes a member of the family, and who is welcomed and conditioned to participate in the household. They not only have names, but respond to their names. They will develop routines. They learn how to ask for things they want, including going for a walk. They sleep on the bed at night.

In other words, there’s more interaction, which indicates an actual relationship.

For me, I don’t consider myself an “owner,” so much as a father.

Today, I present to you the profiles of the cats who are current members of my family.

Tibo Bat is a half-tabby/half-Maine Coon cat who was born on September 9, 2019. He was born of a cat who lived with someone who worked at the nearby animal clinic.

As a kitten, he was a violent whirlwind of sharp pin-like claws and teeth, with unbound destructive energy. Leather gloves were required to play with him. Over time, he learned how to play nice, or even play rough without causing serious damage.

His passions include playing tug-o-war with a dog toy and playing with wadded-up paper bags, batting them around like a ball and carrying them to where he wants them with his mouth. He also enjoys squeezing himself underneath the couch so that he can get up inside the body.

He has a blue handtowel that he considered to be his “blankie.” He is not afraid of the Shark vacuum cleaner, but has only recently started getting over the sound made by plastic trash bags.

For these reasons, and more, we wish to bestow upon Tibo Bat the distinguished honor of Goodest Good Boy.

Rascal T. Brat was born on March 10, 2007, and was the runt of the litter. He was adopted after being found on MySpace, right after I wrote, “Dibs on the orange one,” in the Married But Flirting chatroom on MySpace. I didn’t even know there was an orange one available. Luckily, there was.

June 19, 2007: Rascal T. Brat, as a kitten, with his mentor, LP.

His caretakers asked if I wanted him to be a lap cat. They also referred to him by name once we named him.

He was delivered to us less than two months after he was born. He became the buddy to my cat at the time, LP [2002-2019]. LP took Rascal beneath his wing and taught him well. He learned the art of snack time and when that occurred. He learned basic home etiquette.

Rascal was LP’s buddy and little brother for 12 years, until LP passed away on President’s Day 2019. Of course, I cannot write this without saying that LP was a master of human emotion in a way that is rare in cats. For example, I could talk to him on my phone through the home security camera, and he knew it was me talking to him. He’d look at the camera as if he were looking me in the eye, something he often did that is also unique.

This was shot about 5 weeks before he passed. I don’t say a word and only move the camera.
Based on his past experience, he knew it was me and makes eye contact.

Rascal probably would have been content being the only cat in the house. We got Tibo Bat because we thought Rascal might be lonely, but this was far from the truth. Rascal was not happy having to deal with the unchained energy of a young Tibo Bat.

As a side note, if you have an older cat, don’t get them a kitten as a friend. LP got Rascal when he was 4-5 years old, which is fine. Any older than that, and the older cat will experience some age-related challenges. The only reason this worked out is because I am here all of the time and was constantly running interference to make sure they weren’t fighting or getting into trouble.

Showing that an old cat can learn new tricks, Rascal took on the challenge of being a Maine Coon Tamer. He taught Tibo how to do snack time, how to play rough without causing harm, how to relax when getting nails clipped, and how to not be afraid of the Shark vacuum cleaner.

Rascal T. Brat used to love to play a great deal. These days, when he’s not sleeping, he’s laying around. Sometimes he watches TV. Most of the time, he will want to sit on my lap, as he was trained when he was young. When he wants to be alone, he will go sleep in the closet. Tibo Bat used to join in him this, but he later learned about boundaries, and also came to appreciate his own space.

Today, they are best buddies and get along great.

The end. hehe

What Marching Band Taught Me About the World

In 1979, I finally made the transition into high school band. It was something I’d been looking forward to, ever since I transitioned from trumpet to drums in sixth grade. I went in and auditioned for the leader of the drum line; a guy named Roger, aka “Hefty.” After my audition, I was ceremoniously welcomed into The Hefty Patrol.

The left arrow is me, standing next to Roger, aka “Hefty.”

It felt like I had joined a club, and it would be the last time I would have that sensation in my life. The handful of guys in the drum line were respectable.

What I didn’t yet know was that things were about to change in a major way. Most of the drum line graduated, leaving only a few of us behind. Then, two guys decided that they were going to quit band. After all, sticking around looked like a losing proposition.

It ended up being just me and two other people. The band was VERY small, and taking the color guard into account, the band had approximately 23 people when we went to march at the Indiana State Fair in the summer of 1980.

Summer 1980: Me [Left] with my younger brother on Turmpet.
It’s weird to think that we made up 8% of the entire band, including color guard.

Of course, it was too late to find other students who would want to march. To the Band Director’s credit, he found someone to march with the bass drum, and another person to march with cymbals.

It was a 3-person drum line.

At around 3:38, I can be seen at the front of the 3-person drum line [in the middle] driving the drum break. This was my first time marching at the Indiana State Fair, in front of 14,000 people. No pressure.

This is a competition that occurs every single year at the Indiana State Fair. Bands from all over the state sign up to march in competition. The bands then march during the daytime in competition.

The Lone Snare Drummer, getting ready to carry the band for the 1980 Indiana State Fair Marching Band competition.

Out of the bands, the judges will select 16 bands to advance. They are known as “The Sweet 16.” They march in the evening, and then the judges make a decision on the winner.

We worked hard to deliver a great performance. It seemed that no matter how hard we worked, we were not even close to winning.

There were a few times where we marched “exhibition.” In this situation, we got to march in the evening with the Sweet 16, but we were not in the running to win. It was a case of the judges thinking that we did good enough to be there, but not really good enough to be considered.

Or so I thought.

To say that I was frustrated by our lack of wins would be an understatement. I expressed my frustration, in no uncertain terms, to anyone who would listen. I did not understand why we were not ever making it to the Sweet 16. Because at this point, I would have even accepted that.

I don’t want to say precisely WHO told me what I am about to write, because the purpose of this is not to generate drama, but to share a life lesson that I learned from my experience with marching band.

Summer 1981: Rockin’ it during the break-down for the song “Light Up” by Styx.
This is how the photo was published in the paper. In the yearbook, they cropped out the bass player’s finger gesture.

Someone I shared my frustrations with asked me to meet with them in the Band Room office. We went in there, closed the door, and had a talk. It wasn’t really a discussion, so much as the person telling me how things go in this situation.

We will not EVER win the Indiana State Fair marching band competition. When a marching band registers with the State Fair to join the competition, they have to pay a PER-PERSON ENTRY FEE for the privilege of marching.

He continued.

Our band is very small, so the total we pay is not that much. Meanwhile, there are other bands that have 300-400 people marching in the band. The total they pay is significantly higher than what we will ever pay.

Then, the death punch.

Now, what do you think would happen if a band with 400 members got beat by a band with 40-50 members? Will they get upset? Yes. Might they refuse to march in subsequent competitions? Yes. So, politically speaking, we cannot EVER be allowed to win, because another organization that pays more money might withdraw, and it would harm the State Fair.

It’s NOT personal. It’s not even musuical. It’s political and financial.

I got precisely what was being told to me. It would not ever matter how hard we worked. The idea of it being an honest competition, with a winner being chosen based on performance, was NEVER the plot in the first place.

The lessons that I took from this were harsh, especially for a teenager.

It doesn’t matter how hard you work.

It doesn’t matter how good you are.

The ONLY things that matter are money and politics.

So much for the Meritocracy and the virtue of hard work. Still, I put forth my best effort every single time.

I also learned that the State Fair Band Committee had learned a lesson the hard way, and they wanted to avoid another screw-up.

The two biggest bands there were Anderson and Highland. My dad went to Anderson, and mom went to Highland.

Anyway, one year Anderson won the Indiana State Fair. In their repertoir, they performed the school theme song from Highland. Talk about insult to injury!

When this happened, Highland decided that they would NOT ever return to the Indiana State Fair. This cost the SF Band Committee thousand and thousands of dollars in lost registration revenue.

After that, they were extra cautious, to the point that they would NEVER let a small band win.

It’s corruption. It’s also a perfect representation of the evils of Capitalism. But I digress.

I learned that talent and hard work are meaningless when it comes to achieving in the real world. Politics and money take precedent over everything else.

I learned that it is possible to work hard, do a great job, and still get nowhere. THIS is the story of my life.

Indiana State Fair, Summer 1984: That’s me in the yellow shirt, directing. After my first year of college, I returned to the high school band to go to band camp as a counselor, and to lead the drum line toward success.

Although I learned early on that we would NEVER win, I still stuck around. I still worked hard. I still put my best forward. I stayed for four years, marched after graduation, and returned after my first year of college to guide the drum line toward a path of fun and success.

The average person does not realize that you can be very talented, work hard, and get absolutely nowhere. I have seen HUNDREDS of cases of this, in the form of great bands in LA that will never, ever get a major record deal. They will NEVER have a ton of fans. And they’re incredible!

With all of that said, I still work as hard as I want to get as good as I want, so that I can make the music that I want. And in that regard, I was successful.

Summer 1984: This is the face of a man who knows that he’s going to lose, but also knows that his work is about to kick major ass.

As for marching band, I stayed for my four years of high school. I could have quit right after graduation in 1983, but instead I stayed and marched. Not only that, but I marched with the drum I liked the least: bass drum.

And after my first year of college, I returned as a Camp Counselor, guiding the drum line to success and handing the keys over to a drummer who studied under me.

It could be said in a fair way that my high school marching band was born to lose. We were GUARANTEED to lose. But that did NOTHING to stop ANY of us from working hard, putting on a great show, and having a ton of fun in the process.

I don’t work hard for your corporate interests. Hell, I don’t even work hard for money. This is where most people will assume laziness, with the false assumption that money is the sole motivator.

I work hard for MYSELF.

At the end of the day, I am the one who must feel good about my performance. I am the one who has to live with how the gig went, or how the song turned out, or anything else.

If I happen to get money or win a prize, then it is a bonus, but it is FAR FROM THE MAIN POINT.

I have to live with myself, AND I have to look in the mirror and be able to honestly tell myself that I did my best.

I certainly did.

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A Weird Brand of Insult

Consider the fact that the person levying the insult against me knows my entire background.

They know that I started in computer rentals in 1987. In this role, I would configure, test, and repair customized computer systems. From here, I would teach software packages to professionals in 1989.

I got online in 1992, and I would write my own bots to pull information I was seeking from multiple sources, before things like Google were available and efficient.

Flashing forward to more recent and bigger highlights: I worked at MySpace from 2005-2008, when the website saw unprecedented growth and was, at the time, THE biggest website in the entire world.

From there, I worked in Tech as a freelance QA Engineer, performing mobile testing, as well as website testing. I also worked at for FIVE years, and the last year of that had me also working at Linkedin.

To add even MORE context to it all, the offending person also knows that I have a type of OCD with regard to my email. As I write this, there is nothing in my Inbox, there is nothing in my Spam folder, and nothing in the Trash. My Spam folder is CONSTANTLY being checked and cleaned out. I see EVERY single email heading before I clean it out.

So consider my position when corresponding with a person who knows me this well, and when I let them know that I did NOT receive their email, their reply to me — with a straight face, no less — involves the following statement:

“Maybe it ended up in your Spam folder. Did you check that?”

Watching the 1/6 Hearings

I have been watching the 1/6 Committee hearings since the first one aired late last week. As someone who lives in America, I am very concerned about the future of the country and I want to see those who have violated our country to pay for what they have done.

For me, it’s NOT a case of tribalism. I have NO loyalty to any group of humans. Being Autistic, I stand alone in most aspects of my life, and I have never felt represented by either party at any time in my life, ever.

Sure, there are people who make it tribal. Most of them are Republicans. They engage in most of the “othering” of humans, from the poor to Democrats. They veiw the poor as being criminals, because they want being poor to be a crime. They view Democrats as Satan-worshipping pedos who eat and fk babies.

They believe this because this is what they are told. Being Christian, they believe it without questioning it. And they will NEVER question any of it because they have been primed to believe that questioning equals not believing, or not having faith, or going against the tribe.

Obviously, I disagree with the Republicans who either have their heads in the sand or are aggressively being wilfully ignorant.

I also disagree with Liberals who may believe that, finally, the Republicans wil see the errors of their ways and become sane adults who will follow the rules. WRONG! They are in the minority and cannot win an election without redlining, or utilizing the electoral college. Remember that ex-government employee Donald LOST the popular vote BOTH TIMES, but was made president by the electoral college.

Liberals MUST understand that they know what they are doing, and they do not care. They will do whatever they think is necessary to acquire and hold power, because they believe a god is on their side.

Superstitious tribalism is literally KILLING America.

I want to keep this short, so it doesn’t turn into a rant, and I don’t want my points to get lost in it all.

With regard to the voters who supported or continue to support ex-government employee Donald, I find their behaviors to be strange. It’s bad enough that they find it acceptable to receive “owning the libs” as a fair trade in exchange for the taxes they pay. Maybe they don’t pay taxes, but it’s weird when using the fair assumption that they pay taxes.

Expect MORE for your tax dollars! And do NOT fear making the roads better [and other infrastructure needs]. I suspect they don’t want anything to get fixed for the same reason they don’t want ANYTHING done that helps the American people. It’s because they’re afraid that a non-white, non-straight, or non-Christian might accidentally benefit from any of it. So they’ll drive in potholes to make sure those “others” have to suffer.

Most strange of all, I find it very curious that ex-government employee Donald told his voting base – to their faces! – that he “loves the poorly educated,” and in response to this they cheered, they voted for him, and they are sending him money.

They have clearly forgotten that he promised them during his campaign that he would never ask them for money because, as he put it, “I’m really rich.”

We might be talking about your savings, or retirement, or disabililty, or the last of your money here, but if you are sending money to a self-declared billionaire because he’s telling you scary things that you can’t even bothered to check out and find to be untrue, then you have a serious problem.

Fortunately, this problem brings actual PAIN to those who go along with it.

With regard to the future of ex-government employee Donald, he is in a real pickle now. He may try to declare ignorance; that he didn’t know what was going on. This won’t work for him, as he talked about his intelligence, linking it to his self-declared “good genes.” He even said, “I have a very big… uh, brain.”

He also bragged online about his IQ.

The biggest reason why it won’t work is because his ego is too big and fragile. Remember that Narcissism is a serious affliction, and NOT something to be admired or worshipped. And while his Narcissism has worked for him in the past, it will not work for him in this situation, where honesty and being humble are important qualities. Those are qualities that he does not have.

IN CLOSING, AS A NOTE TO DONALD SUPPORTERS, I write NONE OF THIS in an effort to mock those who voted or otherwise support ex-government employee Donald. Unlike those on the Right, I refuse to laugh when a FELLOW AMERICAN is distressed. I refuse to mock, or laugh, or declare that I told you so.

He lied to you about so many things that it is impossible to determine where to start. He lied about not ever asking you for money. He lied about being as richi as he is, because he has spent so much energy hiding his numbers. He lied about being a Christian. He lies about being a Republican, as he has voted Democrat his entire life AND donated to Hillary Clinton campaigns TWICE.

He lies about open borders. He lies about America being under attack by the others. He lied about the election being stolen. He lied about “illegals” being brought here to vote. He lied about large-scale voter fraud. He lied about everything.

He lied about everything.

He lied about everything.

He lied about everything.


It’s okay to admit that you were wrong. It is essential to your mental health and future to admit this. I won’t be laughing when you do. What I WILL be doing is hoping that you’ve learned something from this, and that the country can move forward in a more healthy direction.

Oh, and if your fellow America is upset about something, DO NOT laugh at them. Do not take joy in it. Do not believe that you’ve “owned” them. Be compassionate and ask them why they’re upset.

Stop being childish. There is too much at stake.

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