A few days ago, I decided to delete my Facebook account, once again. This time, it’s the last time.
Before I deleted it, I posted something letting people know that I was deleting it, and that I was highly dissatisfied with the experience. It was actually causing me more harm than good being there.
I had mixed feelings about doing that, because it sounds like attention-seeking. Initially, I wanted to write to specific people and get their email or contact info so that we could keep in touch. The problem with that approach is that I might be writing to someone who doesn’t view me as a friend in the way that I see them.
So I opted for the friends-only profile post. This weeds out the narcissists who aren’t paying attention, as well as all of those “friends” who chose to implement the unfollow option.
Why be friends with someone you don’t like or don’t want to hear from? It makes no sense!
What ended up happening was I got a few very thoughtful and intelligent emails from a few people who want to keep in touch. That’s wonderful. I got a phone call from someone who has been a “real-life” friend for about 28 years.
I got another email from a friend who wants me to join her spiritual group. I am struggling to find a way to opt out, because she’s very intent on getting me to join. I appreciate the thought, but it’s just not for me.
I don’t know if that last friend will read this, but I suspect the rest will.
And, of course, I have a friend who lives far, far away who always reads. So I am fortunate to have some friends in my life, even though I may not always remember.
I even have a friend right here named Catherine. We lived together as a couple since 1999, but have recently come to terms with the fact that we were never a romantic couple in the first place. This does not change the fact that we are dear friends who are working together to survive, since today’s economic climate does not allow for grown adults to live on their own.
It is so very important that I remember why I left Facebook in the first place.
My history of doing this is expansive. I first left Facebook and all social networking in mid-2014. I had been scammed by a “friend” of 3 years who told me she had cancer and begged for her life as she asked me for help.
While I was helping her, another “friend” who was a Malignant Narcissist and recording studio partner saw this as an opportunity. So he told all of my “friends” that she was a scammer and that I was in on it for profit. He told people that I did not have a job, which was not true.
He basically told a bunch of lies and built up an army of “flying monkeys” to attack me. This allowed him to openly keep my $10,000+ investment in the studio, which included two drum sets, keyboards, guitars, basses, microphones, and other music equipment.
Nobody ever questioned that he had a motive for saying what he said. The attacks were so vicious that I had no choice but to leave.
I stayed off of ALL social networking for FIVE years.
When I returned on April 1, 2019, a few thought it was a joke at first. However, the vast majority of my Facebook “friends” actually had no idea that I had been gone. They did not miss me, at all. Not one bit.
I must remember this detail.
I stayed on for a while. And wouldn’t you know it, by late October 2019, I ended up in the grip of yet another Narcissist. Long story short, this destroyed me, so I deleted my account in October 2020, only to return sometime around late-February or early March 2021.
And I lasted until mid-April 2021.
All of this is so very important for me to remember.
I didn’t fit in. Felt like I was talking to myself. Anything I shared that was important felt like I was casting my pearls before the swine. The cliques were still present.
Between all of that and the outrageous amounts of Narcissism, I decided that this was not healthy for me at all.
I do have more thoughts on this, but I want to make the last part its own separate entry. Stay tuned, as it will be available later this morning.