I Still Hate Facebook

I still hate it. I still hate it

I. Still. Fooking. Hate. It.

I realized a while back that there is nothing social about it. But in a moment of highly confident Autism, I decided that I could make it social.

My approach to making it social was somewhat simple, at least to me. I put it out there that I wanted to have a video chat with someone on my list. It would be later in the day, and it would last at least 10 minutes, with no obligation to go further after the timer alarm rings.

It sat a good 7 hours before the call time came and went. I left it overnight, and got NO traction at all. Not ONE person even did so much as hit a like.

So I deleted it.


THE CONSEQUENCES
Maybe I should call this Autistic consequences, although it’s a sensation that I’ve experienced with FB as well.

The first time I felt this weird sensation was in mid-2014, when I deleted my FB account for five years. On a side note, they say it will be completely deleted after 30 days, but that is a lie. They never delete anything. Ever. But I digress.

When I deleted my FB account back then, I had two noteworthy experiences.

The FIRST experience came right away and lasted for 4-6 weeks. This sensation revolves around FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out. I would imagine people having conversations, and I viewed myself as effectively dead, since I wasn’t there. Might as well have been.

However, the SECOND experience happened after the FOMO went away. Not only didI no longer have FOMO, but I began to wonder why I would ever post anything on there for anyone at any time, ever.

After my attempt at socialization failed, I began wondering once again why I would ever post anything on there for anyone at any time, ever.


WHAT THIS MEANS
Now I’m in this weid state of limbo, where I have my FB account, but I don’t want to use it at all. I deleted the apps from my phone, turned off notifications, and logged out.

This is the state in which it may very well remain, moving forward.


IN THE END
Yes, I know that my FB page is for me. I can post all day long, whatever I want, and everyone on my list can ignore it or completely miss it because their feed is buried with almost 5,000 “friends.”

I do not like time-wasters or the concept of wasting time in general. Posting feels like a passive-aggressive act of throwing my photos, life experiences, and more directly into the faces of people who don’t give a shit.

Sure, it’s for me. The problem is that I do not want it. I’m hesitant to delete it again, although I have considered it. Instead, I will just stop using it for a while.

But I think back to that time in mid-2019, when I reactivated my old FB account. I didn’t want the old account, but FB forced me into a funnel to reactivate it, no matter what I tried.

This brought back to life an account full of horrific misery that I had hoped would be gone. I did delete it again, so it’s removed from public view, at the very least.

Sure, it was horrible to see all of those messages and people in that context again. There were lots of bad things about it. And of all the bad things, do you want to know the worst of it?

The majority of my “friends” on FB had no idea that I had deleted my profile. They had no idea that I had been gone for five years. It was as if I don’t exist, and never did.


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Published by DrumWild

Writing about drums, music, and philosophy.

One thought on “I Still Hate Facebook

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