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Dear FB and FB Friends: Here is Why I Left

INTRODUCTION
If you are reading this, then either you’re a subscriber of some kind, OR you’re a Facebook friend who found my final post, got curious, went to my website, found the link to this on my website, clicked it, and now you’re reading.

Thank you for reading, and for being here.

Of course, being Autistic I was tempted to write a long-winded explanation to ensure that I wasn’t being misunderstood. But then I figured, WHY post it on Facebook, where only 3-5 people will actually read it [because it doesn’t generate engagement], when I can post it HERE, where I know that more people will read it.

Besides, the “friends” who aren’t really my friends might view it as whining, instead of explaining. Then I have to explain the difference between the two, which they won’t understand because they may not have the intelligence it takes to possess nuance.

My leaving had nothing to do with any one person, and has everything to do with the overall experience, expectations, and the inept ways of those who run Facebook. There are also general concerns related to human behavior, but again, it’s no one person in general.

LET’S GOOOOOOO!!!


OVERALL EXPERIENCE
My overall experience with the site did not live up to my expectations, which you will read about in the next segment.

The sensation that I get from Facebook is that it is cold and dead, and all about whatever the algorithm wants people to see. It is no conspiracy that the Facebook algorithm promotes engagement.

Engagement is when people are really getting into it. What achieves this better than politics? Religion, maybe? They figure out what upsets you, and then serve it to you so that you can get self-righteous and shit all over it.

This also means suppression of things that DO NOT fit into the arena of engagement. These are things that DO NOT drive up engagement, and therefore do not make the company money.

Making money is the main thing they do, and they don’t care if it destroys your lives. They want their money. Money is all that matters. Human life is coincidental to them, and ventures into the unnecessary.

Yes, we’re becoming unnecessary, but that’s for another entry.

Now, during my time there, I have put a great deal of work into being as non-controverisal as humanly possible. I’ll write more about that later, and it won’t be pretty.

But for me, Facebook is cold, dead, pointless, and does not achieve what it claims. There is nothing social about today’s social networking, or Facebook.


EXPECTATIONS
You might be wondering what I expected from a social networking platform. This is going to sound truly radical, and maybe a bit crazy, but I expected it to have a social element. I expected it to encourage social connections.

It only encourages fighting, hatred, and fear.

A lot of you who are my age may not have been online through the 90s. I was engage in lots of social networking back then, before big profits, advertising, and controlling use was not prevalent.

People had FUN! I had a blast on mIRC, ICQ, Yahoo! Chat, AIM, CompuSERVE, and other websites. I made some friends, and we actually had get-togethers and had a good time.

I even made a friend on Yahoo! Chat in 1998, we’re still friends today, and he’s reading this right now. Hi, AA! How many NEW friends have I made with social networking in the past 15 years?

None.

Facebook does not encourage new friendships, mainly because doing that would detract focus from their money-making mission, where money is the ONLY thing that matters, and society does not.

Sure, they recommend people to me. Most of those recommendations are garbage, because they’ll recommend people who are certainly going to generate some stress on my part. They’re people I work to avoid.

I expect my social networking to be social and to involve networking. Facebook offers neither.


INEPTITUDE OF FACEBOOK
In this segment, I’ll be generous and suggest that maybe I was part of the problem.

As an Autistic adult, I do have the good fortune of being able to understand, construct, and deliver sarcasm. With many Autistic people, they struggle with sarcasm, innuendo, and general speaking between the lines. I am the same with msot of it, but I am good at sarcasm.

Also, if we’re talking and you say, “Get outta here!” I’ll know that you’re being happily incredulous, and will NOT end up walking out of the room because I was told to get out of here. Autistic people will sometimes take things literally.

On the part of Facebook, their algorithm is not capable of detecting whether a person is pro-something, anti-something, or just being sarcastic. Much like a very Autistic person, it takes everything literally.

It gets as literal as possible, and then hits you in the face. It does not account for American coloquialisms, either.

I had encountered TWO specific issues during my latest return.

The first one was somewhere around mid-July 2022, when I was chatting with Scott Blake on a thread on his profile. We were talking about old high school talent show performances. He said that he wondered if the school still had them on tape. I wrote that I had NO idea that videotapes of any of that even existed.

Then, I attempted to use sarcasm as humor.

“Oh… tapes? Of the performances? Well, I guess I gotta go burn the school down now, BRB lol.”

It didn’t take long for me to get chided by Facebook about going against their “community guidelines.”

Flash forward to November 16, 2022, when someone had posted a cartoon of a Native American handing a turkey to a Pilgrim. It said something about early Americans feeding illegal aliens from Europe.

It says “undocumented,” which is WAY too kind. Tit for tat!!

My mind took the logical step from that, and engaged in some dark humor as a comment.

I wrote this because I have a BIG, big problem with the concept of “Christian Dominionism.” This is where Christians take from you and kill you, then declare that it was “manifest destiny,” because “god” told them they could steal the land and genocide the people.

Sure, we’ll punish YOU if you steal from us or commit a genocide against us. We’re GOD’S people, so you dare NOT do that. But we can do that to you ALL WE WANT, cuz GAWD said so.

Anyone who isn’t directly benefitting from this has a problem with it. So if someone is okay with it, then you know what kind of monster they truly are.

Back to my story.

Well, wouldn’t you know, THIS caught their attention. Except this time I didn’t just get a warning. I got banned from Facebook for an entire 24 hours. During that time, I couldn’t do anything. More about that later.

Okay, so I shouldn’t use dark sarcasm in my humor.

The problem is that most of my humor is dark sarcasm. I won’t be changing that, so I have to stay away from places that punish people for having a sense of humor like mine.

This means I have to stay away from Facebook, unless I want to be punished.


GENERAL BEHAVIORS AND MISC
It was very frustrating that I couldn’t post an explanation for everyone on Facebook during that 24 hour ban. I couldn’t explain myself at all. At the time, I was all caught up on my chores and didn’t have any music to work on and had no plans to do much writing in my book.

So I did something else to pass the time.

First, I deleted my Instagram account. I was basically using it to post pictures of my half-Maine Coon, Tibo Bat. I will tell you, based on first-hand experience, that it sucks when you post cat photos online — a place where cat photos typically reign supreme — and you still feel virtually invisible.

I started having that sensation that I had in mid-2014, when I first deleted my Facebook account. At that time, I had detoxed from internet addiction, and began wondering why I had ever posted anything, at any time, to be seen by anyone, for any reason.

I wondered why, and I saw no point to it. I also saw no benefit. I did, however, see it causing some damage.

Once that was deleted, I went to Facebook. But what should I do with it? I’ve deleted it before, and usually end up returning after I think it’s a good idea because I’ve forgotten how it felt.

So I decided to keep my Facebook account this time.

But I still needed some things to do, so I went about deleting all of my photos, except for ONE profile photo. I may replace it with a photo from today.

I deleted all of my posts and all of my responses to posts.

What I didn’t delete, I think, is likes and other things.

But I deleted as much as I could. I was relentless.

Eventually, I deleted the Facebook, Messenger, and Instagram apps from my phone.


IN THE END
Yes, this time I kept the Facebook profile. I may disable it, but I am not certain. But I will keep it, because I’ve invested a great deal of time actively blocking church sites and Christian memes, as well as unfollowing people I care about who are otherwise too unsufferable in their religious beliefs.

People don’t understand that it pains me to see people so deeply brainwashed that they cry and live in fear. It’s even worse when they use hatred as a bodyguard, because fear suggests weakness.

Do you know what else suggests weakness? Kindness. Being kind to others. Having something good to say. Being gentle. Having humanity. Letting someone else go ahead of you, having respect for them even if they are different.

These are human attributes that supposedly denote weakness. This is a VERY dangerous place for our society to be.

Now, I’m hearing Nazi rumblings about “useless eaters who don’t have jobs and contribute nothing except being leaches.” Do you know who they are talking about?

They’re talking about ME. I’m a burden on society because I’m Autistic, I’m disabled, and I’m not working. Never mind the fact that I worked for 36 years, which is a year more than people who retire and get a gold watch. Forget that, NOW I’m not killing myself to make someone else rich, so therefore I should be exterminated.

Knowing this, and then seeing friends supporting Republican efforts, is truly disheartening. That they claim to be my “friend,” and yet they’d throw me beneath the screeching steel wheels of a cattle car to the camp showers because “god” told them they had to exercise this hatred in order to be “true Christians” and to be “loved.”

In 2011, I asked many of my friends on Facebook who would stand up for me when Christians decide to start killing non-Christians. I got a few responses of laughter, which I can’t tell how it’s funny if I get killed. I got a few responses of, “Well, you CHOSE to hate god.” I didn’t choose to not believe, any more than you chose to believe.

It’s NOT a choice, and I try to remember that as I watch brainwashed friends struggle between their Christainity and Humanity. I root for Humanity, always.

I was also told that I was imagining things, and that I should not worry about it. Well, now it seems that this spectre is closer to the gates than ever before. It’s visible. It’s actual. It is becoming realized.

And NOBODY on Facebook who claims to be a “friend” would EVER speak up for me if I were to be destroyed for the crime of not being a Christian, being disabled, being Autistic, not being employable [thanks, ageism!], and not breaking my back to make someone else rich.

What I NEED to do is spend time with friends who actually care about me. People who actually care whether or not I’m executed for not being a Christian.

We are approaching those times, and I have Jewish friends who are also very nervous about where things are going. This is not imaginary. It has happened before. It will happen again.

And for me, it is no longer good enough for anyone to simply TELL me they are my friend. Too many people have lied to me about this in the past, and I’ve paid heavily for it every single time I believed them. It shows just how pathetic I was in that I needed to have friends so badly that I’d believe horrific people.

Yet, I did.

People who are my friends now have to SHOW me they are my friends. I have a few who do already. My bud who makes music in Mayalsia is a true friend.

There’s another bud I worked with 30 years ago. He helped me out, when I needed a place to stay. I attended his wedding in late 2016.

There are a few other friends who wrote messages to me on Facebook or email, letting me know how they felt about me, or offering up encouragement during difficult times.

There’s one friend who send me a message on Facebook to let me know that they also got bullied in school, when I had no idea. We bonded over that, among other things. She’s also probably the only Christian I know who actually DOES something with it, instead of just rattling on about it all the time. She never told me I should go to church, read the bible, or believe. She lives by example.

These are descriptions of just a few of the friends I really have; those whom I appreciate.

There are also those who are more casual, so we don’t get deep enough to have those types of connections. That’s fine, and I appreciate all people who offer kindness.

Being Autistic, I attract people who wish to exploit, and they view me as a very easy target. I used to be. My attitude is that I still am, and for that reason I must remain vigilant.

So far as my Facebook profile goes, I won’t really be using it all that much. It will probably still be there for quite some time.

I probably won’t be logging in daily, won’t be checking Messenger, and won’t be posting or otherwise interacting. I’ll just be there, as a placeholder, so that I can at least counter anyone who is pretending to be me. That can cause problems.

At any rate, if YOU are reading this, the I wish to let you know that I truly appreciate you taking time out of your day to read this, and to understand what I did and why I am doing it.

The bottom line is that Facebook is VERY toxic. It’s NOT a healthy place to be. It’s even more toxic for people like me, who have special socio-emtional frailties and susceptabilities.

Those who have my number can text or call. Those with my email can write. Those with the intelligence needed to find me are always welcome. I’ve owned drumwild.com since late 1999, and it’s searchable by my real name.

If you don’t know my real name, then I’d encourage you to read again, because it’s referenced in this entry.

Maybe we will talk again. Sadly, for most on Facebook, we never talked in the old days, and we’ve STILL not yet talked. People don’t talk on Facebook. There may be too much fear, and people aren’t comfortable talking anymore.

But there is absolutely nothing social about ANY of it.


If you like what I write, then please consider sending a one-time donation to me via PayPal. Please use the following link and click SEND to donate, and thank you for reading! https://paypal.me/drumwild

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Published by DrumWild

Writing about drums, music, and philosophy.

9 thoughts on “Dear FB and FB Friends: Here is Why I Left

  1. Dan,
    I completely understand your feelings regarding FB. Honestly, the only reason I have it is to see photos of my grandchildren and to keep up with a few friends. I rarely post anything or engage in any other conversations/memes. I “SCROLL” a lot because of the ugliness and hatred people post. And I have to agree, I see a lot of “Christian” people that post this ugliness and hatred. I do, however, have friends that are what I would consider true Christian people and lead by example and never push their beliefs on anyone. We all have our own opinions about things, and that’s great, but it deeply saddens me when I see family and friends being torn apart because people can’t agree to disagree or even try to understand the other persons point of view.

    I hope you have a great day!
    Laura

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Many don’t know that I had a horrible time with religious abuse during my first 21 years in Indiana. Lots of judgment, hatred, and dehumanization from self-declared “good” people. It was horrible, so I won’t trauma-dump about it here.

      The FB scrolling got unbearable, even though I’d blocked a great deal of the hollow nonsense. The vapid sentiments that reduce “goodness” to the mere act of declaring one’s self to be Christian. To make this declaration is all it takes to be “good” to these people, so it’s no surprise that they hate me. They think I’m evil and less than human, based on what they’ve been taught about me in church.

      I guess bearing false witness is fine if it demonizes a non-believer like me.

      I’ve obviously experienced some change in my mental health as a result of years of work, and have sensed that I’ve been doing better in the past few months. While I could stay on FB and test my patience, I think that I need to focus on how I can work toward helping myself and other likes me, who are being demonized in our modern times, in preparation for our genocide.

      I wrote about this in the entry, but it bears repeating. When I asked friends who would stand up for me, the few responses I got were negative.

      It’s hard to learn what people really think about you, and for no other reason than empty, mindless, superstitious tribalism.

      Thanks for reading, and for being cool during those years.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I should have also added that I do try to engage in live-and-let-live. The people who attacked me in Indiana can’t do things that way. Their religion doesn’t allow them to live-and-let-live. They demand it, but don’t give it. That’s privilege, and I’m not included.

      I would LOVE to be in a place where live-and-let-live is accepted as a way of life. Sadly, that won’t happen in most places in America, thanks to religious fear, hatred, and the need for fascist control.

      Thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dan,

    As I have gotten older I have had to unlearn some of the crap that was fed to me as a child. I remember always questioning the hypocrisy of “God says love everyone” but we don’t tolerate this or that group because they’re going to hell because they don’t believe the way we do.

    Going away from Lapel to Bloomington was the beginning of my eyes being opened. I lived in a extremely diverse dorm and loved it.

    I participated in Campus Crusades for Christ and met some of the same mentally that I grew up with and even went to Florida for a conference during Spring Break. Instead of talking to people about the accepting nature of Jesus, everyone focused on what changes people needed to make to be a “Christian.” Again, I was left with a bad taste about this restrictive view of religion. I did meet my ex-wife in this group and learned about how Catholic’s view religion. (I have two great kids as a result.)

    During my last semester in Bloomington, I worked as a nursing assistant in a skilled nursing facility. I took care of one of the sweetest little Jewish ladies during this time and was deeply troubled by the Christian view that she would burn in Hell for being brought up and practicing in the Jewish faith.

    I still went to church with my wife and kids, but my views of religion were much broader than the teachings of the church.

    I don’t go anymore and am sickened to see all the evil that has been done in the name of any god/gods. My view on organized religion is that most are corrupt and, like FB, only out to make money!

    Einstein said that there are 3 stages of religion:
    Stage one: Fear Based Religion where basic felt-needs are met and pain and life threatening situations are avoided.

    Stage two: Social and Moral-Based Religion where god provides protection and guidance to those who are ‘good.’

    Stage three: Cosmic Religion where “devotees are humans with advanced knowledge and understanding of the laws of nature.”

    The above description is okay and if you want to read more details about his views here’s the link:https://www.modernghana.com/news/1084394/albert-einsteins-three-stages-of-religion.html

    Anyway, I’m happy to hear that you’re getting healthy in more than one way in your life. And I am glad that you’re a fellow survivor of life in a small, small-minded, bigoted community too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It sounds like you’ve learned things on the inside that I got to learn on the outside.

      For me, it’s truly disheartening to witness self-declared “good” people being so judgmental and cruel, seemingly for the sole purpose of being better than others, or above them.

      I’m wary of philosophies that request, demand, or promote fear or hatred. Yet those remain the most popular in our society.

      I don’t have a need to be above or better than anyone else. My goal is to be a better version of myself today than I was yesterday.

      I have no use for the practice of othering.

      I could go on, and maybe I’ll write more about some of the details later.

      Probably worst of all today, there are vicious hate preachers who tell lies about us non-believers, in an effort to dehumanizing us. It makes us easier to engage in discrimination, at best, and genocide, at worst.

      I had to put up with a lot of things that are reminiscent of blood libel. At Lapel, I was accused of eating babies, worshiping Satan, and more. They even accused my mother of being a witch.

      Grown adults should know better.

      Thanks for being a voice of reason, and a friend. I do appreciate it.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Thanks for the information and sharing you thoughts about it.
    We are all victims of this toxic corporate advertising pollution money culture.
    We have to reallise that we are victims of this toxic culture and then we will start question ourselves and drop our unhuman behaviors that we adopted from our families and are amplified from this toxic culture we are living.Then we will start trully discovering our selves and our human behaviors and with that knowledge help other people and protect the earth that gave life to us.

    Liked by 2 people

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