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More Steps Forward

Stepping away from social networking has provided a major boost in my positivity and activity. The way I measure this is by reviewing a snapshot of a typical morning.

When I would use social networking, I’d end up scrolling to see what I had missed, or see who liked or commented on whatever it was that I had posted. I wouldn’t sit there and waste a ton of time, but time was still wasted.

This morning, I got ready for the day, went through my emails, and then went outside to sweep the garage and go run some errands.

Imagine that. Sweeping the garage is more healthy and positive than scrolling through mindless posts

It’s not that Facebook won’t try to get me back. They’ve sent me a few emails telling me about who was posting. They word it in such as way as if to suggest they wrote something personally toward me or about me, when I know they actually wrote about how much they love their dog.

I appreciate that they love their dog. It just doesn’t do all that much when it comes to moving my life forward in a positive direction.

So I blocked those emails and soldiered on.

I’ve had more time to focus on other things that actually DO serve to enrich my life. There’s more time writing in my journal, book, and here. More time for piano, guitar, bass, finger drumming, and songwriting. More time to revisit those books or movies that come to mind.

There’s also more time to focus on myself.


BUT ISN’T THAT NARCISSISM?
The short answer is No! Focusing on yourself and taking care of yourself is NOT narcissims.

Narcissism is a by-product of abuse experienced in childhood. The narcissist builds an aggrandized self-image in an attempt to rise above their abuse. They end up only caring about themselves, in so far as what they can get.

A narcissist treats other humans as THINGS to be used at your pleasure, before being unceremoniously discarded like a used piece of trash.

Narcissists don’t really “love” themselves. In fact, they actively hate themselves while having even more contempt for anyone who isn’t them.

So narcissists DO NOT love themselves, and are about as far away from loving themselves as possible.

But the biggest sign that caring about yourself is NOT narcissism can be found if you’re worried that you might be a narcissist. The thing is, narcissists don’t worry about being narcissists. They don’t care about being narcissists. They don’t care about other people. They are incapable. It is impossible.

It’s okay to care about yourself. It’s okay to love yourself. It’s okay to do things for yourself or to take care of yourself. It’s okay to put myself first, followed by my family and/or those who depend on me, and so on down the hierarchy of people who are involved in my life, or otherwise in my general area.

Narcissists can’t care about their neighbors. Again, they are simply not capable.


WHAT’S IN THIS DAY?
Today is about cleaning house, laundry, grocery shopping [already done], sweeping the garage [already done], feeding and playing with the cats [done], plotting the budget, writing [partially done], and multi-instrument practice.

What is NOT in this day is sitting on Facebook, wondering about people and things, while my expectation of it being a social network is not being met.

It’s nothing against the people from my past. There are some I really like, some I truly dislike, and some I don’t care about. This is the case for everyone, and I fit into ALL of those categories, depending on who is doing the thinking about me. That’s fine.

My Facebook account still exists for them, and I might check in on occasion. I just won’t be getting in there every day, and I will NOT be getting on FB with my phone. No social networking apps are on my phone, and it will stay that way.

I like writing here. I can sit and really dedicate time and energy, as well as thought and focus. And when I’m done, I post or save, and move on with whatever else I have to do. There is no meandering or wondering what has changed.


IN THE END
Positivity is a weird thing. Some people say that you have to fake it until you make it. I can’t do that, and have tried but never succeeded.

For me, I have to go to the “make it” part. Jerking around like a fraud isn’t my bag.

People, situations, events, and platforms can all have an impact on your mental and emotional state. Some add to it, while others take away.

For me, WordPress adds to the positive, while other sites take away.

YouTube is something I’m exploring as well. I have new ideas for a new channel that I made a few months ago, after a reading friend encouraged me. Those ideas are very important to me, so I will put them out there. People will like it, and some will not. That’s cool.

What is NOT cool is me remaining quiet and allowing everyone else to bulldoze right over. Why is their word any more important or valuable than mine? Why should I discount my own thoughts and words?

If they don’t like it, why should I care? If they can make an argument that supports why they don’t like it, and why I might be wrong, then I will check that out. I’m not bull-headed.

It’s time to take on the day.

Oh, and by the way, yesterday was the 52nd anniversary of one of my most favorite live albums of all time, so I’ll be posting a link to the entire ablum below. Thanks for reading!

Elton John – Live in New York 11/17/70


If you like what I write, then please consider sending a one-time donation to me via PayPal. Please use the following link and click SEND to donate, and thank you for reading! https://paypal.me/drumwild

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Published by DrumWild

Writing about drums, music, and philosophy.

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